Feel Me
by Hannah-Scriv
Summary: My first Arrow fic not really sure where it's going to go yet.
1. Chapter 1

After everything Slade had taken Thea and she knew Oliver was panicking, he was like a fish out of water and that unsettled her just as it did with the rest of their team. He was their rock the one who pushed them to be better. They had been trying to find Thea for two days; she hadn't slept since the video came up during Moria's speech and she was crashing badly she felt Digg squeeze her should "Go home and rest, you can't help us if you're not 100%" She was about to argue when he gave her his no arguments face and she knew she wasn't going to win. She had just packed up here things when Sarah came down the stairs "Oliver says I have to make you go home." She looked sheepish Felicity smiled "I'm heading out so don't worry." She then began to walk again only to realise Sarah was following her she turned back to the girl "Did you need something?" Sarah shook her head "no but Ollie doesn't want any of us alone till Slade is… well dealt with so you're stuck with me "Felicity felt her jaw drop that arse thought she needed a baby sitter "No offence Sarah but you can tell him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine I am tiered, grouchy and in no mood to have company forced on me." She turned and stormed off only to be followed by Sarah She huffed but carried on storming passed Oliver at the bar no stopping to say good bye nothing she just carried on.

Sarah had followed her all the way home even up to her front door it was at this point Felicity realised Sarah wasn't going anywhere, she felt defeated she was never going to be a member of the 'team' just the tech support the weak link. That made tears well up in her eyes she was feed up of living in their shadows of being the voice in the wind that told them where to go, she was done, out for good. She crawled into bed and let her mind wander; she would help him find Thea she wouldn't leave the innocent girl in Slade's hands. Felicity woke to the smell of coffee Sarah she tough so she padded her way into her living room still half asleep "Hey look Felicity I am sorry that we have to stick together but you have to see with Thea gone and the way Oliver and I know Slade he is hyper afraid which happens to make him hyper protective." Felicity sighed it wasn't Sarah's fault and she knew that but still it hurt they thought she needed a fully trained assassin as a baby sitter. "Sarah its fine I don't mind being stuck with you it just give us time to get to know each other better outside of Arrow business." She watched as a smile crept onto Sarah's face and her shoulder dropped "That would be nice, since all my old friends think I'm dead apart from my sister I don't have many girlfriend I can speak to."

Sarah and felicity spent the morning talking and just generally relaxing when there phone started to vibrate, Felicity picked hers up and read the message 'Found Thea, meeting at the club now.' She looked up to Sarah who smiled "Let's go the sooner we get her back the better we will all feel." Felicity nodded and got up making her way to grab her bag and coat and then they both made their way to Verdant as they made their way down the metal stairs they could hear Oliver and Digg discussing the plan to get Thea back. When they reached the base of the stairs Oliver's head shoot up "Digg found Thea, Slade is keeping her in an abandoned warehouse, we are going in tonight. You" he pointed at her "will be with us I can't risk leaving anyone open." She prickled at that it was bad enough Digg found Thea during 1 night something she hadn't been able to do in 2 day but now he was what dragging her out into the field to what seemed like punish her, to show her what Thea an been put through because she failed to find her quick enough. Sarah went to argue but Felicity just put her hand on the other girls and shook her head she deserved this she had let Thea down, she'd let them down.

After working out the kinks in the plan and Oliver drilling into her what she was to do and making her repeat it back verbatim which really all she had to do was stay by Sarah's side like they were physically linked but not so close she hindered Sarah. The team had gone to suit up leaving her to her thoughts, she had thought once she found Thea she would leave make a fresh start for herself some where she hadn't disappointed they people she loved but now Oliver was insisting she came along with them she was stuck going out to bring Thea home but then that would distract him making it easier just to leave unnoticed. She just hopped it all went without a hitch the Queen family and Oliver in particular had been through enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow but please do let me know what you think.**  
**thanks for the favorites and follows it means a lot :)**

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The van ride to the warehouse was silent all of them pondering on what this night had in store for them. Felicity looked up when the van began to slow, during the afternoon Oliver had called in the suicide squad know that they were going to need all the help they could get. Felicity had tried to argue she could stay with dead shoot and guide them with her laptop but Oliver refused sighting how little he trust them the only reason they were here was because our little team was going to need all the help it could get if they where to survive. Sarah had made Felicity wear one of her spare masks, black leggings and long sleeved top that felt like a second skin saying it would help her fade into the shadows and out of Slade's view. As everyone began to get out of the van she felt Sarah grab her hand she nodded at the girl and they began to make their way to the rear of the warehouse which was to be their entry point Oliver had planed it so the team entered on all sides increasing their chances of finding Thea and getting the girl out as soon as they possibly could.

Felicity's stomach sank as they made their way to the middle of the room where Thea sat after coming across no guards no one, not even Slade then it happened she watched as each member of the team was descended on by soldiers the like of which she had never seen they even Roy was struggling. Slade's voice boomed "So nice of you to join us kid and I see you brought some playthings with you." Slade smirked and she wanted nothing more than to slap it from the man's face "How many more deaths will be on your hands Oliver before you realise it's already over, it was over the minute you chose that whore over the woman who taught you how to survive." Oliver shoot an arrow towards Slade and it hit him in the arm but the man just pulled it out chuckling before throwing it at Oliver. She watched as all of her friends, people she saw as family struggled to stay alive let alone on their feet. Slade raised his arm with what looked like a gun in his hand Felicity's mind when blank then and she ran for Oliver pushing him out of the way, She felt the projectile hit her in back knocking her flat on her face she heard Oliver scream her name then the world went black. Oliver watched her fall and her eyes close he went to move towards her but Slade voice stopped him "Not so fast Mr. Queen leave the girl I doubt she get up again anyway." Oliver fought harder now for Felicity as he watched the blood pool around her.

After the fighting was done he had his sister but Slade had gotten away and taken with him his light, the one person who helps keep his moral compass pointing north she was gone. Every single member of the team was glassed eyed none of the spoke; none of them looked him in the eye thinking what he already knew her blood dirtied his hands. He would give anything to have her ramble on at him about some inconsequential thing. Oliver felt the red hot rage clawing at his already thin resolve he would drop his sister home then god help anyone he came across tonight.

Once Thea was save with Roy at his, Digg turned to him and asked where he wanted dropping of Oliver didn't answer he just needed out. Oliver walked until he realized he was out side her door, he picked the locks and open the door slamming it behind him. He walked to her room and collapsed on to her bed where he broke down,if he let her stay with dead shoot she would have been alive but no he had wanted her close so he knew she was save. Look where that got him he regretted pushing her away now it physically hurt him to know she died not know he loved her think he was mad at her.

Oliver didn't leave her apartment not until the day of her funeral that was, Sarah had told him when Digg and her had gone back to fetch her the warehouse had been flattened and her body now where to be found. He stood now in front of her grave as he did everyday collapsing to his needs begging her to forgive him an come back to him. Sarah, Roy, Digg and Thea stood a distance away watching him. Thea cried for the broken man her once strong and unwavering brother had become.

Slade sat on a boat heading back to the island, the kid had surprised him but now with him broken the way Slade was after he lost Shado killing him had lost its appeal but having the one person he cared about the most kill him well that was poetic justice really. It would take time if she woke up from the mirakuru at all he watched stronger men fall from it. He would need to break her and the train her before he could even think of sending her after the kid.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow but please do let me know what you think.**  
**Thanks for the favourites, reviews and follows it means a lot :)**

Slade had originally planned just to hit the kid with the mirakuru and watch him destroy his own life but when the girl had run for him to save the kid. He had originally though it was Sarah but after she feel he looked to see Sarah still fighting one of the men he had rallied to his cause one way or another. He had seen the way Oliver had reacted to her taking the shoot for him was a mirror of the way he was when he found Shado's body. He had known then that Oliver had cared deeply for the girl and judging by the way their whole faction rallied once she had fallen he knew by hit her he had dealt them what may even prove to be a fatal blow.

Oliver sat on her couch staring at a laptop watching the security footage of them right before they left for the warehouse. It had been nearly 3 months since that day and though he was more 'human' now, he was a long way of being who he was with her here. He had moved into her apartment and Sarah with her Dad, she had even started to strengthen her relationship with Laurel. They all check on him Thea, Digg, Sarah and even Roy He was glad to see them but he still couldn't don the hood not without her voice in his ear telling him where to go what to do he be the man in the hood but she was the real hero.

The others all went out on patrol and he took her seat keeping an eye on them but mainly searching for her, Quentin had told him when the cleared the rubble they had found the blood stain where she had laid but no body. So unless she got up and walked herself out of the warehouse which he doubted, he had seen the wound and the blood that he couldn't seem to wash from his hands. That meant Slade had taken her body but he couldn't wrap his head around why, yes the not having her body not truly know if he could have saved her tore at him was than any bullet he had ever been hit with. Though if that had been Slade's end goal for her they would have heard from him by now he would have gone after his next victim. Slade was nothing if not determined to cause Oliver pain where even and whenever he could.

Slade watched her as she slapped the water cursing him out with every hit. She had fought him hard, kicking multiple barrels of water at and over him before he threatened to leave her here and go back for the kid. She had complied instantly after that but that didn't mean she liked it oh no and she made sure he knew it as well. It made him laugh the difference between her and Oliver, when Shado and he had trained him he whined like a petulant child every little step of the way. Showing himself to be the spoiled rich brat he was, her, she fought every step she slapped the water every day whilst yes cussing him but she never whined not once in the 3 months they had been here. She would be one of the strongest soldiers he had ever come across the kid wouldn't know what had hit him.

Felicity slapped the stupid water in the stupid barrel, Slade took great delight in telling her how everyone's life where in Starling. How Oliver and Sarah had moved into her apartment together, her apartment for good sakes she had taken a bullet or whatever the hell Slade had shoot at them for him and he makes her home his love nest with Sarah if she ever got off this island he was going to get such a smack it was untrue. She normally would trust a deranged man such as Slade but he had brought her the pictures, one of which was her grave the day of her funeral. They had freaking buried her without even her body to confirm she was dead, they just took it as she was hit so she must be dead.

Digg arrived at Verdant before the others and went down to the lair. When he reached the bottom step he stared at her chair and as all ways a pain so fierce ripped through his chest threatening to tear him apart. A lone tear rolled down his cheek it was the same every time any of them entered since the day she died. Digg blamed himself she was like a little sister to him and he had left her open and she paid the ultimate price for that. He saw how it ate at Oliver how he was obsessed with finding her whenever one of them tried to intervene, tell him it was time to move on let her go he would refuse telling them they were wrong she was alive why else would Slade have taken her. He hated seeing what this had done to his once resilient friend; he had watched him crumble and could do nothing to help rebuild him because he was just as broken as he was.

Slade saw the moment she broke it was around four months in, he honestly hadn't expected her to last that long. The kid had chosen well learn no doubt form Slade's mistake with Billy, Slade spent months feeding her falsehoods about her friends using photo's he taken the one that seemed to do the most damage was one of Oliver and Sarah sat in an apartment. The whore had been trying to get Oliver to move on from Felicity but Oliver refused, he told felicity that the pair had moved in together. When he learned that it was her apartment he almost laugh it was golden and it cracked her resolve enough for him to break down her walls.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow but please do let me know what you think.**  
**Thanks for the favourites, reviews and follows it means a lot :)**

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Slade had put Felicity through hell, she ached down to her bones but she never showed him that. Slade had her doing archery, sparing all the stuff she normally left to the others, Slade had pushed her so hard in each her skills rivalled if not bettered her old team mates. She knew the island had darkened her she was no longer the bubbly happy go lucky girl she was when she worked with Oliver and the others and after the knife he had put in her back with the whole Sarah and him living in her apartment stich she was ready to put an actual knife between his eyes.

The rage pure unadulterated rage was new to her, yes back home she got mad at the boys when they did something stupid which let's face it was often. She felt the rage like a fire burning just under her skin ready to burn through if she ever saw his smug face again. He had strung her along just to use her skill set, she would never allow that to happen again not now not ever.

Slade had pushed her hard wanting to see when she would bite back at him and tell him enough, to test her. She never faltered not once and that enthralled him he watched as she worked through every wall her mind through up. She was his protégé, his legacy and so much more than the blonde girl he stole from Oliver Queen.

The fact that the loss of her had broken his old friend caused Oliver physical pain well that was a bonus. He stood now watching her friends in their little club house training their success rate had dropped absurdly since the loss of her. He watched Oliver sit at her desk, he watched the boy well up over the last year since the day he took Felicity he heard him argue how she must be alive. The Oliver he saw now just looked defeated "Don't worry old friend she will be home soon enough." Slade whispered in to the wind with a smirk.

Felicity watched as Slade approached her "What did you have planned for today?" he smirked at her "Today we head of this god forsaken lump of rock and head to a friend of mine in Russia." Oh joy her favourite place in the whole world and yet another reminder of how Oliver had treated her during their time together. She let none of her distain for the place show; she just nodded and followed him. She knew he had been hopping on and off the island for however long they had been there. To begin with she had tried to keep with time days; months and so on but soon she had lost count and lost the will to care.

Slade had led her to a boat and when on board he took her to her room "I need you to take care of a few things for me and my friend in Russia once that is done you are free to go home." She nodded and shut the door, once she was on her own she let out a shaky breath of course he was letting her go Oliver and the others had showed they didn't care. She had seen the pictures Digg and Roy training, Sarah as the Black Canary on patrol and then Oliver sat at her desk with her ear piece in. she felt the burning lash of rage whip her heart again had she meant so little to them that they could forget her so readily, so rapidly and so unconditionally.

Oliver took the same walk he did every day to her rave he still refused to believe she was dead but it was the only place he felt close to her anymore. He had all but moved into her apartment but the smell of her that had brought him comfort was slowly fading form the place. Her desks both at QC and the club had been interfered with by either his team mates or infuriating EA's that seemed to last 2 weeks at the most. Isobel had made some scathing comment about it one night and he had cracked letting his rage encompass him with its full power and unleashed it on her, he saw but ignored the step he watched her take away from him. She had since left QC for that he was not sorry, he just wished he had done that when Felicity was here to see it he also wished he hadn't been such a coward and told her how he felt kept her by his side. He wondered if she would still be with him now telling how much of a soppy fool he was being if he had.

Once he reached her head stone he fell to his knees, he had had it put next to his fathers he wanted her close. So he could make sure that nothing happed to the last place he felt close to her. He felt Thea place a hand on his shoulder and placed his over it. He knew his reaction to the loss of Felicity had scared his little sister, he felt her kneel beside him and wrap her arms around him trying to comfort him as much as possible. They both stayed there and cried for their losses for a long time, it wasn't until their mother found them that they both rose from the ground. His mother had tried to reach for her children, comfort them even but both pulled away from her both hardened to the tears she shed the pain she felt she caused with her own lies.


End file.
